When Love Hurts
by Theo Walker
Summary: How would he have felt as he saw Sophia die? How would he feel? What would he do? This is the story of how Carl and Sophia met all the way to when a zombified Sophia was killed by Rick. Carl X Sophia. Set during Season 3.


**So this is my first venture into the Walking Dead. I haven't gotten to season 4 (heck, I haven't even watched Season 3 yet) but I've always been interested in Carl and Sophia. In the comics, they're boyfriend and girlfriend (well, as much as you can be BGR at 8 years old) and so I flipped when AMC killed off Sophia in Season 2. But I began to imagine: how would Carl have felt about it? How would he have felt as he saw Sophia die? How would he feel? What would he do? The result was this. This is the story of how Carl and Sophia met all the way to when Sophia was killed by Rick. So without further ado…**

Chapter 1

Carl's POV

I never thought of love in a deep way before. At 12, the word 'love' to me was simply defined by the relationship my mom and dad had. Love was abstract to me, something that I could not yet fully comprehend.

That is, until I met Sophia.

Sophia stole my heart in a way I could never imagine it could be stolen. Whenever I was with her, my brain malfunctioned. When I was dying from a bullet in my body, I kept alive by telling myself, I have to survive. For her. To find her.

She was my friend. Maybe my first love. Even now, I find it hard to fully comprehend love. I mean, I like Beth, but it wasn't the same like it was with Sophia. With Beth, I feel more like we're just friends.

Sophia was more than that to me.

And every night, since that day at the barn, I cried.

I cried that I couldn't save her.

I cried that I wasn't there for her when she was bitten.

I cried that she didn't survive.

I cried that she died not knowing that I loved her.

Mom says it's not my fault, and I don't blame Dad for shooting her. I blamed myself for not being there.

It was so bad I wanted Judith to be named Sophia, in remembrance of her. It didn't come to pass, but in some ways, I love Judith to be Sophia.

Sometimes, as I stare at the walls of my prison cell, I think back to moments with her.

And I wonder how things can be different.

The first day stands out for me.

That day, before I left for school, I heard Mom and Dad arguing. I tried not to acknowledge it, until I heard Mom's words.

"Sometimes I wonder if you even care about us at all."

I watched my dad flinch in pain, and I think my mom realized it, because she covered her mouth in surprise. My dad just put his head down and walked out.

That day, in the car, I asked her what she meant by that.

"It's nothing, sweetie. It's just…your dad's not home a lot. It's his job, and I accept that. But sometimes, he's back late so much that I just can't accept it. It's like, I don't know if he's doing his duty, or if he just wants to avoid us." She explained.

"But he does care for us. He keeps our streets free of bad guys. And he always comes back in the end. That was a hurtful thing to say to him, Mom." I replied.

"Love and relationships are like that, son. There's always going to be arguments, fights and whatever not. Sometimes, you just get so frustrated you don't know what to say or you say the wrong thing…" She took a deep breath. "I'll apologize to him tonight. I know I said the wrong thing. Don't let it affect your view of your father, Carl. He's a good man."

She never got the chance.

That day, when I got out of school, Mom was looking at me in a weird way.

Instantly, I knew something was wrong.

I walked up to her. "What is it, mom?"

She squatted to face me. And she delivered the terrible news.

"Dad was hurt in a gunfight with armed criminals this afternoon. He's in hospital now, and…I'm not sure if he can make it through."

I just stood there, absorbing the shock. Dad...hurt? Potentially dying? I couldn't believe it. Tears came to me.

"It's ok, baby. It's ok." My mum hugged me and consoled me.

Through my tears, I could make out a man standing beside a police cruiser. I recognized him immediately.

Shane Walsh. My dad's best friend.

I immediately ran to him. "Is it true, Shane? Is he…"

His look told me everything.

I didn't sleep that night. And for the next few nights. I couldn't fall asleep without dreaming about Dad. I visited him in the hospital once, and I couldn't bear it. I couldn't bear to see my father hurt.

But at the same time, this was the first lesson I learnt about love, especially with Sophia.

Sometimes, the people you love get hurt. And the hardest thing to do is to move on from it. Some might say it is impossible. It's not. It's painful, but it's possible.

That's what I did with my dad. Eventually, I got over it. I started seeing Shane more as my dad than Rick. Shane was nice to me, and I knew he liked my mom. I didn't know it was wrong then, but I accepted that. It was like Shane was my real dad the whole time, though I never did forget Rick as my true father. That's why I rejoiced when he returned from Atlanta with Glenn.

And I wonder now, as I lie on my cot in the prison cell:

Why can't I do that for Sophia? Why can't I move on with her?

Why can't I accept her death so easily as I did with my dad?

What is so different between now and then?

**End of Chapter 1! Hopefully, it was a good beginning. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Please read and review! **


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